


Letting Go

by arthurmorgan-s-heart (Silverblind)



Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16900986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverblind/pseuds/arthurmorgan-s-heart
Summary: You and Arthur have a hard conversation.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> This is a request fill from my tumblr blog. Uploaded here for convenience - find me on tumblr - arthurmorgan-s-heart
> 
> Original request text: "can you do an imagine with arthur where you both talk and decide to have a kid? thank you :)"

Having children was never really something to which you gave a lot of thought. It was always this hypothetical thing, this distant idea of what your life would be like whenever you thought about your future, just like finding love or getting married; something you half expected to not live long enough to see happen. After all, the life of an outlaw was far from safe.

But then had come Arthur, and through the whirlwind that was the slow, painful death of the Van Der Linde gang, you had found each other, and kept each other alive. And now that everything is over, now that you are away from that life for good, this ‘distant’ idea doesn’t seem quite so _distant_ anymore.

There are times when you look at Arthur and cannot help but dream of what could be. There are times you remember how he was with Jack - you wonder what has become of him, and the Marstons -, how gentle and kind he had been, how patient, and you can’t help but notice the longing look in his eyes when you go into town together and see children running by. But you’re afraid that the wound of Eliza and Isaac’s deaths is still too fresh, even after all these years, barely scabbed over and easily ripped open - and you cannot bear to cause him such pain.

And so you stay silent, and wonder.

* * *

You wake up first that morning, as you do most days, with Arthur’s arm around your waist and his legs tangled with yours. You feel his breath on the back of your neck, slow and deep. You wish you could spend the whole day there, in his arms, warm and safe. There is a groan from behind you, followed by a yawn, before Arthur’s grip on you tightens slightly.

“Morning, sweetheart,” he says hoarsely, his voice still laden with sleep. His beard tickles your neck as he presses a kiss just below your ear. You hum contentedly, turning your head so that he can kiss your temple.

As you lay there together, your back against his chest, you allow yourself to imagine what your life would be like with a family - it would be livelier, that’s for sure. Through the lingering haze of sleep, the words come, unbidden, leaving your mouth before you can even think of holding them back after they had spent weeks pressing themselves at your lips.

“You ever think of havin’ kids?”

The question is much blunter than you had ever intended it to be, and you feel him freeze against your back, your heart sinking further and further the longer he stays silent. You had wanted to wait for the right moment, wanted to find the right way to bring the matter to him, but it was too late - as much as you wish you could take it back, the question hangs in the air now, thick and dripping with memories you are sure he would rather forget. You should never have brought it up.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to,” you whisper. And really, it is. You’re together, and that’s enough.

His arms leaves your waist as he chooses to lay a hand on your hip instead, and he kisses the nape of your neck - softly, tenderly, as if his lips were touching you for the first time.

“I do. More than anything.”

His voice is but a whisper. Your breath hitches in your throat, but you stay silent. You slowly turn over to face him; there is sadness about him, and doubt in his eyes, but he is sincere, open.

“I just - “ he says, and the words catch in his throat, too heavy, too painful. “It was my fault. Should have been there. I don’t deserve - “

You bring one hand up to cradle his cheek, cutting him off. He squeezes his eyes shut as you allow your thumb to brush over his cheekbone in a soothing motion.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you whisper. “The bastard that did this to them - he’s the only one to blame.”

“Should have been there,” he says again. He opens his eyes to look at you, but you suspect he doesn’t really see you - his gaze is veiled by memories of a time long gone.

“You’re here now,” you say firmly.  “Way I see it, we got a second chance - that ain’t easy to come by. Up to us to make the most of it.”

“Did bad things,” he mumbles, looking away. “Don’t deserve anything good.”

You lean forward, pressing a kiss against his forehead.

“I did bad things too,” you reply. “Lord knows I ain’t no saint. But we’re here now. Swore to leave it all behind. That ain’t a promise I wanna break.”

He takes in a deep breath before meeting your eyes again.

“Me neither.”

He pulls you against him, burying his face in your hair as you put your arms around his neck.

“This time,” he whispers against your ear, “I’ll be here. Ain’t never leavin’ you.” He allows you to lean away so that you can look at him. The smile on his face is small, but full of hope. You think that your heart might burst at the sight. “I’ll do it right.”

You draw him in for a kiss, long and slow - and despite everything, bittersweet.

“We’ll do it right,” you whisper against his lips. “Together.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
